


worries

by mabi_lune



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Writing this made me sad, s1-s3 Martin, soft, someone please give Martin a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 20:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20606582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mabi_lune/pseuds/mabi_lune
Summary: Martin is worried for Jon. Has been worried for Jon in fact, almost every day for the past few years.





	worries

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was interesting to write because I was torn between wanting Martin to just be happy and also wanting to write some angst™.  
Read on to find out which I picked xD

Martin is worried for Jon. Has been worried for Jon in fact, almost every day for the past few years.

The worries vary. They change and grow and subside and shift and expand, but they are always there.

They begin when Martin first meets Jon after being promoted to archival assistant at the Magnus Institute (although ‘meets’ is a strong word for what is really a timid introduction on Martin’s part, and a nod of dismissal on Jon’s). Still, Martin’s eyes are drawn to the strands of silver in his otherwise pitch-black hair. They're an odd contrast to the rest of him, which looks to be about thirty. They are, however, a perfect match for his tired eyes and weary expression (not to mention his irritable attitude). After this hasty introduction, Martin hurries out of Jon’s way, but not before the dark circles underneath his eyes set off a flutter of worry in his chest.

Over his first few weeks there, that small flutter grows, and Martin finds himself glancing at Jon working at his desk often, keeping track of how exhausted he looks. If Jon wasn’t so odd, then Martin could perhaps watch over him in a more natural way, rather than sneaking suspicious glances at him when he thought Jon was too focused on his work to notice. But, unlike Tim and Sasha, Jon is not prone to chatting in the Archives kitchenette. Unlike the rest of the staff, Jon doesn’t go out to eat with the others for lunch. Martin rapidly picks up on the fact that Jon isn’t really the social type, and that worries him. From what Martin can tell so far, he seems to spend the great majority of his time completely alone. He’s the first to arrive in the morning, and when the rest of the staff trickles in Jon simply watches them from his desk, sometimes (though rarely) having the briefest of conversations with Tim. And late in the evening, Jon is usually so engrossed in his work that Martin wonders if he even hears them leave.

Martin quickly makes it a point to stay late along with Jon a few nights each week. It starts off as simple curiosity, as he cannot comprehend what Jon does with all that time he spends in the Archives. What Jon does, he finds out, is work relentlessly. It worries Martin. Since he’s already staying late, he figures that he might as well make himself useful, and he decides that the most helpful thing he can do for Jon is provide him with copious amounts of tea and biscuits. Chocolate Digestives first, then Jaffa Cakes, but it only takes him a few more nights to realize that Jon is never as content to see him approaching as when Martin brings shortbread along with his tea. 

Staying up late to read statements, drinking tea and having biscuits becomes their routine. The Archives are so quiet when it’s just the two of them there, and while Martin would find it eerie alone, with Jon there they feel comfortable and warm. Sometimes Martin and Jon break the silence with a few words (always whispered, like they’re scared to wake the rest of the world up). Sometimes they don’t talk at all (and Jon says nothing when Martin goes to sit on the floor next to him to look through statements, both of their backs against Jon’s desk, arms almost touching when they leaf through the pages). Martin begins to worry a little less, satisfied that however Jon spends the rest of his days, at least he’s staying somewhat well-fed and hydrated, and ‘social’.

If Martin is being quite honest, when he eventually moves into the Archives full-time (following a rather unpleasant and very supernatural worm infestation) he doesn’t mind it too much. He expected it to be more destabilizing, abandoning his apartment and most of the routine he was used to, but really by that point he's already spending so much time at the Institute that this feels like a natural progression. And yes, the turn of events that forced him to move out of his flat was horrific (to put it mildly), but Martin takes some solace in being able to spend more time with Jon, their quiet evenings now extending much past midnight. It becomes more frequent for Jon not to leave until 3 or 4am (or not leave at all) and Martin doesn’t question him about it. He catches Jon watching him sometimes too now, and he can swear he sees the very same flashes of worry in Jon’s expression as in his own.

Soon after this come bigger worries. Instead of being drawn to Jon’s dark circles, Martin instead observes the multitude of meandering and deep wounds that Jon’s skin bears after Prentiss’ attack. He watches them whiten and harden and scar, never quite disappearing. Sometimes he feels guilty his own skin is still so unblemished.

Tea and biscuits begin to look like they might not be quite up to the task of saving Jonathan Sims. 

Martin brings them anyway. And keeps on doing so even when one day Jon comes to work with an angry red burn on his hand, stretching from the base of his thumb to his wrist. Even after hearing about Jon’s encounter with The Vast (and about how his lungs ached as his breath was stolen from him), all Martin can really do is pull up a chair by his desk and sit with him as he slowly drinks his tea. He resists the urge to hold Jon’s hand when he notices his fingers trembling against the porcelain mug.

Martin’s worries threaten to crush him completely when he learns John was kidnapped by The Stranger. In the end they drown him as he sits by Jon's hospital bed for weeks after their plan to stop The Unknowing nearly kills him (does kill him for a while really, but Martin doesn’t like to think about that).

The worries don’t let Martin out of their grip after that, never releasing that suffocating pressure on his chest. 

And now Martin struggles to recall a time when his concern for Jon wasn’t a factor in each and every one of the decisions he makes.  
He struggles, also, to recall a time when his worry was just worry, and not the tangle of confusion and fear and love that it is today.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd lovelovelove to know what you think about it! <3 <3  
And also let me know if you have any Jon/Martin ideas or requests, I'd love to write them!
> 
> Stay tuned for more TMA fics because I am in love with these characters!


End file.
